Sakura and letting go
Kyoto time travel #1
Here in Kyoto, the last petals of sakura this season have bloomed and mostly fallen.
Our visitors have also came and are now gone.
A big perk of living in Kyoto is we get a taste of time traveling. There are many ways to time travel but I will mention two here:
Traveling back, into the stillness of Kyoto’s timeless tradition and craftsmanship (l’ll share more on this in a follow-up post, including reflections from a two-day immersion where I learned from professional guides and a visit to Kyotango “Kyoto by the Sea”).
And then there’s the kind where the past comes to visit - when guests from previous chapters of our lives return.
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We carry our past in each of our breath
(Almost) Everyone loves Kyoto.
Since moving here, we have welcomed visitors from different chapters of my life - childhood, university, to adulthood when I was working full time.
Visitors flying in from Malaysia, Indonesia, Australia, France, Bangkok, to the US. From young couples, professors, relatives, to families with little kids in tow.
With each familiar faces visiting, memories and emotions come flooding back.
It’s when I realize: we never truly part from the places or people we leave behind. The past travels with us as we carry them along unknowingly - folded into the lining of our days, stitched into the soft edges of unreached memories, where unresolved emotions lie etched in the back pockets of our hearts, untouched by the ebb and flow of time.
Whether we know it or not. Be it planned or suddenly, unannounced —
There is always a last time.
There is always a last time
2019 was the second time I visited Kyoto. Just a few weeks after my maternal grandmother passed away.
On 1 May 2019, I had my last meal with my grandma. Not knowing then that she would end up hospitalized in less than a week.
And soon, it would have been six years since she left us. Until now, I still question why I had not bring along her favorite Yakult drink that afternoon when we met.
费玉清 is grandmother’s favorite singer. This evergreen version of “Thousand Miles Away 千里之外” with beautiful poetic lyrics sang by him now sits in my playlist.
Click the title of youtube link to view.
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
Woke up from a dream. Who is standing by the window sill. Opening an ending. The future is as thin as a cicada’s wing. Cannot be torn by anybody.
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
I sent you off. Beyond the horizon. Are you still there? Where does the sound of zither (a string instrument) come from. It is hard to predict life and death. Spent my whole life. Waiting for you.
I don’t understand much about time. Do you?
This sakura season, I am glad to be able to just enjoy the moment, walking and sitting under the blossom trees in good company of families and friends.
Next year, will petals arrive late, continuing to flutter into mid April like whispered dreams without hurry?
Who will I get to enjoy the blossoms with?
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Magnifique, this was moving.
This is lovely. I'm sure your Grandma would be surprised, and very pleased, to know that you were sharing her favourite song with people across the globe. She wouldn't miss that Yakult drink at all. "The future as thin as a cicada's wing" - how beautiful. How true.🙏